Tuesday, August 29, 2006

CONTENTS OF A TRASH CAN:
One two-pound bag of powdered sugar (opened)
One can creamed corn (opened)
Three raw eggs (not cracked - yet)
One can black beans (opened)
One large can evaporated milk (opened)
Two rotten potatoes
One jar cake decorating "sprinkles" (opened)
One half-eaten watermelon

What is the relevance of the contents of a trash can you might ask? Nothing - unless perhaps one is attempting to finish mopping the kitchen floor - and perhaps one in frustration might put the trash can on top of the counter (because it is in the way of the cleaning process) - perhaps a little too hastily, causing it to fall - which perhaps would cause one to attempt to rescue said trash can - grasping it by the bottom and, well, dumping the contents of said trash can onto the newly mopped floor. Then the contents become very relevant and quite a mess, actually.

Thursday, August 24, 2006

Picture this!
My dad got a speeding ticket the other day. Not that that's a big deal. It happens all the time in our family. But my dad is 76. And he was on his Honda 90. With my mother on the back. I didn't know the Honda 90 was capable of going fast enough to get a speeding ticket. Neither was wearing a helmet. He had no registration. He said the cop was "out to get him." Way to go, dad!

Wednesday, August 09, 2006

NOT AGAIN!
I gave birth the other night - to a beautiful baby girl. Surprised? Yep, so was I - never realized I was pregnant. Even delivered her myself (OK that's NOT surprising.) And only a few hours later it happened again! Same night. Fastest pregnancy I've ever had. This time it was a boy. And except for the painless part, and perhaps the lack of placenta - it all seemed so very real. Until I woke up the next morning - and was still an empty-nester.
NOT AGAIN!
I gave birth the other night - to a beautiful baby girl. Surprised? Yep, so was I - never realized I was pregnant. Even delivered her myself (OK that's NOT surprising.) And only a few hours later it happened again! Same night. Fastest pregnancy I've ever had. This time it was a boy. And except for the painless part, and perhaps the lack of placenta - it all seemed so very real. Until I woke up the next morning - and was still an empty-nester.