Social Skills
Yesterday I visited Anna, an invalid friend of mine. She was a little upset. Anna had called her home teacher for some advice, and instead he bombarded her with a tyrade of scriptues, stories of his life, and nonstop preaching which lasted one hour. (a "home teacher" in our church is someone who is assigned to visit you monthly and be an advisor of sorts) She couldn't get in a single word. She felt even more depressed. I assured her that although Brother Hemond was a tremendously nice guy and is scripturally quite knowledgeable, his social skills are, well shall we say, a tad underdeveloped. I received a call that same night which demonstrated his "social skills."

At 1:30 a.m. my phone rang, awakening me from a wonderfully deep sleep. I was a little surprised - I wasn't on call. My mind ran through a gammut of most likely scenarios: I'm pretty sure none of my daughters (or my son for that matter) is pregnant and in labor; No, Ashley is not on her hiking trip yet; Shady is way too smart to be engaged this young. I finally had to conclude the only reason to call a person at 1:30 am would be for a medical emergency. Right? Big fat wrong! The dialogue follows:

Me: Hello?
Voice on the other end: Sister Reed? This is Brother Hemond.
Me: Brother Hemond? What's wrong? (thinking the worst)
Brother Hemond: Did you want Sister Benavidez' phone number?
Me: Yes, I do believe I left a message to that effect on your answering machine yesterday morning at 10 a.m.
Brother Hemond: Well I have it. Do you have a pen?
Me: (rather irritated) No, not here in bed with me.
Brother Hemond: Oh, should I call back and leave the number on your answering machine?
Me: Yes, well, no now that everyone is awake, why don't I just jump up and get a pen.

Note to self: Never ask Brother Hemond for phone numbers, addresses, or advice.